Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said,
“When Prophet Muhammed’s daughter Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) entered upon Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him), Prophet Muhammed used to stand for her, kiss her and make her sit where he was sitting. And when Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) entered upon her, she would stand up, kiss him and make him sit where she was sitting”
[related by At-Tirmidhi].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) went to his son Ibrahim when he was dying.
Prophet Muhammed’s eyes began to fill with tears. Abdur-Rahman ibn Auf (may Allah be pleased with him) said to him, ‘Even you, Oh Prophet Muhammed!’ Therefore Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said,
The eyes shed tears and the heart is full of sorrow, but we only say what pleases our
Lord. Truly, Oh Ibrahim, we are deeply grieved by your parting
[related by Al-Bukhari].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was a very affectionate father to his children, and a loving grandfather. There was no father who was ever as merciful to his children as he was. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said,
“I have not seen anyone who is more merciful with his children than Prophet Muhammed”
[related by Muslim].
An example of such mercy include:
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to be kindhearted to his children and used to kiss them
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was in the habit of being kindhearted and gentle with his children. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said,
Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) came walking towards us, walking in the same manner as her father. Therefore, Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said, Welcome, my daughter,’ and he then made her sit on his right or left side
[related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Moreover,
if his daughter Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) entered upon Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him), he would stand for her, kiss her and make her sit next to him
[related by At-Tirmidhi].
In fact, Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) complained to one man about his (the man’s) hard heart and cold relationship with his children. Prophet Muhammed kissed Al-Hussain, his daughter’s son, hugged him and smelt him fondly in front of one man from the Ansar (the Helpers of Madinah). The man was very surprised at Prophet Muhammed’s actions and told him, “I have adult sons who I have never kissed.” Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said,
What can I do if Allah has removed mercy from your heart?!
[related by Al-Hakim].
What is the evidence that Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) disapproved of the man who had never kissed any of his children?
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was gentle and patient with his children, and he used to carry them and also withstand any errors they made
Buraydah ibn Al-Haseeb (may Allah be pleased with him) related for us an example of this trait of Prophet Muhammed, saying,
Prophet Muhammed was giving a sermon when Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain came toddling towards him. They were wearing red shirts.
They both then stood still, so Prophet Muhammed came down from the pulpit, took them both [in his arms], and climbed the pulpit carrying them both. Then Prophet Muhammed said, ‘Allah was truthful when He said your money and children are a trial. I saw these two and I could not wait to carry them.’ Then he continued his sermon
[related by Abu Dawood].
One day, Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain were sitting on Prophet Muhammed’s stomach and one of them urinated on him. As a result, one of the women who were in his house quickly went to take the boy from Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him), but Prophet Muhammed just said,
Leave my son. Do not interrupt him until he has finished urinating.
After that, Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) poured water over the urine. He then stood up and entered a house full of dates that had been allocated for charity. The young boy followed him, took a date and put it in his mouth. Consequently, Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) took it out of his mouth, saying,
Charity is not permissible for us
[related by Ahmed].
Abu Hurayrah said,
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to stick out his tongue for Al-Hussain who, when seeing the reddish tip of the tongue, would laugh. Then ‘Uyayna ibn Badr asked him, ‘Do I [really] see what he did for him? I have a son whose beard has grown, but I have never kissed him.’ Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said, ‘Whoever is not merciful will not receive mercy
[related by Ibn Habban].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to bring some of his grandchildren with him to the mosque, as a way of being merciful to them and educating them when they were still young. One of the Companions reported this fact for us, saying,
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) came out to us during one of the Isha [night] prayers when he was carrying Al-Hassan or Al-Hussain (may Allah be pleased with them). Prophet Muhammed came towards us and then put the boy down. Next, he said the Takbir Al-Ihram (Allahu Akbar) to start the pray and led us in prayer. He then prostrated, staying in the prostration position for a long time. My father said, ‘I raised my head and [saw] the young boy on Prophet Muhammed’s back when he was in the prostration position, so I returned to continue prostrating.’ When Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) had finished praying, the people asked him, ‘Oh Prophet Muhammed, you stayed in prostration for such a long time when you led us in prayer that we thought something was wrong with you, or Allah was sending revelation to you!’ Prophet Muhammed said, ‘That is not why [I prostrated so long]; my son was climbing on top of me and I did not want to rush him [to climb down] until he was satisfied!!’
[related by An-Nisa’i].
How did Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) teach his children and grandchildren and be merciful to them, and at the same time withstand the difficulty of spreading the call and other difficulties he had in his life, despite the heavy responsibilities and great burdens of the call?
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was concerned about his children and kept advising them
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to often advise his daughter Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her), saying to her,
Oh Fatima, save yourself from the hell-fire, as I cannot help you at all from Allah [and His punishment]
[related by Muslim].
Another narration relates that Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said to her,
Oh Fatima, daughter of Muhammed, ask from me what you want of my money. But, I cannot help you at all from Allah [and His punishment]
[related by Al-Bukhari].
Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that one night Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) called on him and his wife to encourage them to pray the supererogatory night prayer. Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said,
‘Why do you not stand to pray?’ I replied, ‘Oh Prophet Muhammed, our souls are in the Hands of Allah. If He wants to wake us up, He will wake us up.’ Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) left after we said this, not looking back at us. Then I heard him saying, while hitting his thighs, ‘But, more than anything else, man is argumentative’
[related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
How can you manage to follow Prophet Muhammed’s example of being merciful and loving to children and at the same time teach and discipline them?
How Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) disciplined his children
One day, Prophet Muhammed’s grandchild Al-Hassan took one of the dates that had been allocated as charity and placed it in his mouth. Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was particular to take it put of the boy’s mouth, although it was then covered with Al-Hassan’s saliva, and put it back in the pile of charity. Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said to Al-Hassan,
No, no!! It is not permissible for us
[related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said,
I swear by Allah, if Fatima the daughter of Muhammed stole anything, I would cut her hand off
[related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) did not allocate his love for only his grandsons, ignoring the granddaughters. It has been reported that Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) carried his granddaughter Umamah even during the prayer. Abu Qatadah Al-Ansari (may Allah be pleased with him) said,
“I saw Prophet Muhammed leading the people in prayer and Prophet Muhammed was carrying Umamah, the daughter of Abu Al-As, who was the daughter of Prophet Muhammed’s daughter Zeinab, on his shoulders. When Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) bowed, he would put her down, and after raising from the prostration position, he would carry her again”
[related by Muslim].
Another narration states,
“When Prophet Muhammed went to prostrate, he would put her down. And when standing again, he would carry her once more”
[related by Al-Bukhari].
Are playing with children, making them laugh and being merciful to them in front of others considered silly? Explain your reply referring to Prophet Muhammed’s biography.
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was careful about his children’s rights
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him), as a father, was careful about his children’s rights. One such example of this is related below:
When Ali married Fatima, Prophet Muhammed said to him, ‘Give her something.’ Ali replied, ‘I do not have anything.’ Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said, ‘Where is your armour suit of Hutamah?
Hutamah refers to one of the tribes of Abdul-Qays. They used to make armour suits. It was said that these armour suits broke any weapon’>
[related by Abu Dawood].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) feared for his children
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to often say ruqyah (supplications for protection) for his children as he feared that they would be affected by envy or the evil eye. Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to say,
I seek refuge for the two of you with the perfect words of Allah from every evil Satan and deadly poison [poisonous animal], and every evil eye
[related by At-Tirmidhi].
One of the rights of a man’s children is to choose a good wife as their mother. Clarify this fact.
Prophet Muhammed’s grief over the death of his child
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said concerning the news of the death of Um Kalthoum (may Allah be pleased with her),
“Were were present at the funeral of the daughter of Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him). Prophet Muhammed was sitting at her grave and I saw tears in his eyes”
[related by Al-Bukhari].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to grieve over his children’s death and his eyes shed tears at their parting. These tears were a sign of mercy and compassion that flowed from his noble eyes. When he went to see Ibrahim when the child was dying, Prophet Muhammed’s eyes began to shed tears. Abdur-Rahman ibn Auf said to him,
‘Even you, Oh Prophet Muhammed!’ Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said, ‘The eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, but we do not say anything but what pleases Allah. Truly, because of your parting, Oh Ibrahim, we are grieved’
[related by Al-Bukhari].
Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) lost all his children, both girls and boys--only Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) survived him. She died six months after him.
How can you follow Prophet Muhammed’s example?
1. Be a merciful father with your children, being compassionate with them so Allah will be merciful to you, as Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said,
Who is not merciful to others will not be shown mercy
[related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
2. Be a polite teacher to your children and be particular to teach them what is useful for them, as Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to do. Allah says
{ Instruct your family to do salat, and be constant in it}
[Surah Taha: 132].
3. Be just between your children; do not give any of them preferential treatment with regards to what you spend on them or how you deal with them.
4. Play with them and make them laugh, remove any worries they may have and be patient with them, and do not resent any of this; in fact, enjoy such interaction with them, as Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) used to do with his children.
5. Fulfill the rights you should give your children by choosing a righteous wife for her to be a righteous mother for them. Moreover, choose good names for your children, and educate and look after them.
6. Send prayers upon the best of people, the merciful and compassionate one, and learn from him how to deal well and kindly with children. Beware of being rough and hard-hearted.
A day in the life of...
